Where we left off was that I was about to have a hysterectomy. It was an “everything” hysterectomy – uterus, cervix, ovaries. That was because I had developed early-stage uterine cancer and needed to fix that. The surgery was at El Camino hospital in Mountain View. The surgeon was the second-opinion Dr. Dwight Chen. I saw the anesthesiologist for about three minutes on the morning of the surgery; he gave me sedative and told me that I would be out before I made it to the OR. I remember nothing.
I woke up to a nurse asking me about pain. “Nine,” I told her. Did I want ice chips?” Yes. They sat me up in the electric bed and I passed out again before I was able to string two bites together.
The day was mostly a blur. There was a student nurse who kept practicing on me. I tried so hard to be nice. In my altered state the real me was not to be suppressed. I could not stand the student nurse, and I managed to have her sent away. Dr. Chen showed up and told me I looked like I got hit by a train. I told him was a Mac truck. Later he told me that I healed so well because I had a good attitude. I am sure of this. And love. I am sure that love is a great healer.
I cant quite figure out what the loss of a uterus means for a 60-year-old woman. I had not been using it for a while.
My menopause happened at 50. It was relatively easy for me, with very few hot flashes and other disruptions of life. Now, 10 weeks away from the hysterectomy I seem to be plagued with hot flashes and sleep disruptions that were worse than before. If you get emails from me at 4 in the morning, this is the reason why.
For the record. All the biopsies came back clean. I am really happy about this. I will see Dr. Chen in a few months, and then I will see Dr. Salvay once a year. The interesting note is that in the three months it took to actually have the surgery, the staging of the cancer moved from one to two. I told you before I think they moved too slowly.
Ultimately, the big question is, “What happens to a vagina when it is not attached to anything?" I know that they sew or staple at the end. But what does it do? Does it look like the giant red balloon man in front of the Honda dealership on Soquel? Or is it more like a stoic, lonesome monument hanging out in an abandoned cemetary? These are the ridiculous things I worry about when I think about the surgery.
I must get back to making art.
Other than that, I have been so happy that the Spurs beat the Heat in the NBA playoffs because I love Greg Popovich, etc and cannot abide LeBron James in any form.
I traveled to Provincetown for the Eighth International Encaustic Conference. It was great to see so many people that I either know or have admired from afar for years now. I got to hang out with my friend since 1982, Janice Walk. She is the subject of one of my more popular oil paintings, “The Human Birdfeeder.” We got to drive through Beach Forest, where the feedings used to take place. It was probabally Janice, more than any other person, who taught me about the simple beauty of nature, and I came home reminded of this. Traveling home was hard, but I will be going back next year.
Now I am fascinated with World Cup Soccer and baseball. I am following the Red Sox, the As and my favorites, the San Francisco Giants. Because I love the Red Sox so much, I can never really be a fan of the As, but it is so interesting to see them on top. The G-men. They are still on top, and I suspect they will survive this current correction and a few more before September. The complexities of baseball have always fascinated me. I don’t know why I love Basketball and Baseball so much, but I suspect I have a mutated sports gene that managed to escape from the Hockey/Football Fernows.
